DONE!

All the blogs are offically done!!! Each blog is owned by one of the 4 of us (the description of each blog tells whose blog it is). Each blog also has an individual picture of us with our blog and real names to the side of the posts. above the posts on each blog is a picture of all 4 of us together. every picture is different on every blog. i haope you all enjoy our newly done blogs!!!

My feelings today-better

last night at around 11:53 p.m. my father returned as drunk as he's ever been. I'm so relieved! But also a little disapointed. My sister threw a fit on him, asking where he's been, why he left, was there another family? blah, blah, blah, blah. the boring stuff. the stuff mom should've been asking but wasn't because she was silently weeping in her little room like a coward because her not wanted husband had returned. I swear i hope he just walks outta our lives and stops with his lies to us. the terrible jerk. i love my father, i mean, he's my father. of course i love him. but sometimes i need a break from the alcolhol smell he gives off.

p.s. i got Cassedy to come over because mom didn't care cuz dad was gone. good thing he showed up after we had already had Cassedy over since 9:00 p.m. so i'll let her talk to you.

Hey! Waz up my little computer people friends? This is the well (or not so well) known Cassedy. I hope that while Jane's been ranting and raving to you, that she's raved about good things concerning her friends. like how Kaitlyn stopped her from suicide once upon a time 5 years ago when they were 10 (good thing she's no longer sucidal!) We're trying to make it so that everyone can have a blog. and some do. Kathrine gave her blog back 100% to her mom now so she can start her own blog, not share one with her parent.
-Cassedy
It's true
-Balance
There's 2 blogs right now, cuz Kathrine (being the blog genius of the group) already made hers a couple days ago. The blogs so far-

Deeperdeeperdeepergone.blogspot.com (Jane's blog "Wishing and Waiting")
JFnameless.blogspot.com (Kathrine's blog "Nameless")

p.p.s. the two girls in Kathrine's blog are us. Aprilflower is Kaitlyn and Augustflower is me. she's trying to find a picture of Jane to put up as (when's her birthday again?) oh yeah, she'll be Decemberflower!
-Cassedy

My feelings today-Broken Strings

(for my missing father!)

Let me hold you
For the last time
It's the last chance to feel again

But you broke me
Now I can't feel anything
When I love you,
It's so untrue
I can't even convince myself

When I'm speaking,
It's the voice of someone else

Oh it tears me up
I try to hold on, but it hurts too much
I try to forgive, but it's not enough
to make it all okay

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real

Oh the truth hurts
And lies worse
How can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before

Oh what are we doing
We are turning into dust
Playing house in the ruins of us
Running back through the fire
When there's nothing left to save
It's like chasing the very last train when it's too late

Oh it tears me upI try to hold on, but it hurts too much
I try to forgive, but it's not enough
to make it all okay

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell something that ain't real
Well the truth hurts,
And lies worse
How can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before

But we're running through the fire
When there's nothing left to save
It's like chasing the very last train
When we both know it's too late (too late)

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel
I cant tell you something that ain't real
Well truth hurts,
And lies worse
How can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before

Let me hold you for the last time
It's the last chance to feel again

My feelings today-Worried

I know i'm up early, but it's nessicary. My dad still hasn't come back. Why do i have the feeling he drank himself to death? Oh, i hope he's alright. Stupid dad! Making everyone worry over him and then comes home perfectly fine, i wish that that's what's going to happen. i would cry if he was dead. i would cry hard.
my sister was able to come back from her 'special place' with some new medicine that's supposed to help her condition. well, it didn't. so yesterday they took her perscription and doubled it, that worked for sure because now she's all loopy and everyone (except missing dad) is up early trying to take care of a delirious child. it was too much on her body. yeah, gotta go. mom's screaming at me to get off her computer to come make my sister breakfast. sheesh. things sure can get out of hand, huh? Here i go, bye.

p.s. on the next post i'll try to have Cassedy come on. you've heard from Kaitlyn and Kathrine, but not yet Cassedy.

My feelings this week-Horrid

Sorry that i haven't been on since 4/04/09. It's 4/11/09 today. It's just that things have gone terribly wrong this week, plus i was banned from the computer. My sister went on a horrible rampage, one of the ones that rarely happen. normally, they're just bad outbursts, but this time it was much much worse. She took to violence. she hit my brother until he bled, then took the table vase and smashed it onto him. My mother took my sister to that special place she goes when she's like this. Then my mom came back and got in a big fight with my dad. she even said if it weren't for us kids, she'd leave him. so he slapped her, something he's never done before. he then stormed off, probably to go get drunk with his stupid buddies that we all hate. so mom was crying really bad, while i was taking care of my brother, who i got mostly patched up. the next day mom took him to the hospital. my dad left on 4/06/09, and he still hasn't come back. even if he's a bad dad and person, i hope nothing happened to him. i just wish he was out of our lives for good. not dead or bleeding or hurt. just gone, to another city-no-to another state. that's all i want. i hope he's either found somewhere else far away and never coming back, or he comes back. i just hope he's alright....

My feelings today-Decent

Kathrine came over today so my family didn't bug me too much. Dad was off drunk again today, so he spent all his day with his buddies probably. Either way, he wasn't home. Kaitlyn picked Kathrine and me up and we went to go see a movie. It was really good, except the cheesy-ness of it, but it was fun. After that, my mom approved of my sleeping over at Kaitlyn's house. she sounded stuffy on the phone so i bet my sister went on one of her raging rampages and upset her. she was crying and i didn't want to be around when she stopped crying and got angry. i already know she would yell-lecture my sister and then go steaming off into her room, or leave to go hang with her friends and stay at their house till my dad got back. and when they're both gone, brother's gonna be in charge, and that means a lot of cleaning and working and stuff, all the things i consider child labor. but it really isn't, just in my mind it is cause i don't like cleaning the entire house top to bottom by myself since i know my sister will only fight back and not help. So today is good since i don't have to do anything like that today since i got to spend it with my buddies, i have to write this so late at night (8:18 p.m.) cause i'm using Kaitlyn's computer, which she can only go on when her family's asleep. they go to bed at 8. she's with me.

-Balance

Yo, hi, this is Kaitlyn. we're at my house. me, jane (aka "Balance"), and kathrine. we're having a sleepover over here at my house. it's so fun at the moment (unless someone wakes up and busts up...tee hee hee...that wouldn't end good. anyway, this is a good day for me, kathrine, and jane. let's hope tomorrow is just as good!!!

-Kaitlyn

Hi, um-uh-hi. I don't really know what to say, my blog is just vidoes and stuff. it's not really s speaking blog (really, it's just my mom's blogs, i just put all the vidoes and pics up.) so...i don't really speak. so all i'm gonna say is that Bedtime Stories is a good movie (the movie we saw) but very cheesy.

-Kathrine

My feelings today-Thoughtless

All of my hate cannot be found
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
Now you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground I will see you screaming

Thumbing through the pages of my fantasies
Pushing all the mercy down, down, down
I wanna see you try to take a swing at me
Come on, gonna put you on the ground, ground, ground

Why are you trying to make fun of me?
You think it's funny?
What the fuck you think you're doing to me?
You take your turn lashing out at me
I want you crying when you're dirty ass in front of me

You of my hate cannot be found
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
Now you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the groundI will see you screaming

Thumbing through the pages of my fantasies
I'm above you, smiling at you, drown, drown, drown
I wanna kill and rape you the way you raped me
And I'll pull the trigger And you're down, down, down

Why are you trying to make fun of me?
You think it's funny? What the fuck you think you're doing to me?
You take your turn lashing out at me
I want you crying when you're dirty ass in front of me

You of my hate cannot be found
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
Now you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground I will see you screaming

All my friends are gone,
they died (gonna take you down)
They all screamed, and cried
I'm gonna take you downGonna take you down [x3]

All of my hate cannot be found
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
Now you can try to tear me downand
Beat me to the ground I will see you screaming

Now all the hate cannot be found
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
Now you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground I will see you screaming

This song is originally by Korn but is also sung by Evanescence.

wishing and waiting

This blog is mainly so I can speak my mind, I don't excpect anyone to come or anything. I just need to talk my feelings and thoughts to the computer or something. Because I can't just go to my family for my problems, they won't listen. So i decided "why not get a blog, your best friend has one, let them teach you how to make one and express yourself there." Sorry if i sound like a whiny brat. but i need someone-well something-to rant and complain to.